The Deane Diet Wk 36 – A Little Goes A Long Way


Last week went pretty quickly. I had a couple of minor jobs to finish off but mainly it was job searching, scripting, and eating fruit. Tuesday to Friday was pretty strict because I knew I had a bit to shift after a couple of weeks of intense naughtiness. Five bowls of fresh fruit with fat free yoghurt, throughout the day, and plenty of water. The first day you do this, you can feel hungry by the evening, but by Day 2 the hunger disappears, and yoghurt is filling anyway. You can have as much as you like, and by Day 3 you really do feel cleansed and light.

I find that, as much as I love bread and pasta, eating either makes my belly distended and it just sits there, taking an age to digest. Eating just fruit for a few days is the perfect way to flush out your system and make sure you’re still getting your vitamins. It’s a temporary thing, and you shouldn’t do it for more than 4 days, but if you need a quick-fix detox, and shed a couple of pounds at the same time, then the FAY (fruit and yogurt) technique can work.

On the advice of my friend, Lulu, I also signed up to MyFitnessPal, which is free and has a food database and charts, so I’m back on my record-keeping, which halts the slippery slope I’ve been sliding down for a couple of months, unsupervised. By Friday, then, I felt much more alert, had bundles of energy, and I’d managed to crack off about 12 proposals for jobs, so surely one of those has to come off.

‘The Boys’ buggered off to Glasgow for Bendo’s stag weekend, so that gave a few of us girls an excuse to get drunk in front of the FA Cup Final. I met Sharon in town for a swift shandy, to catch the Villa v Chelsea game, before bussing it over the river to Oxton Manor, where we  managed to sit out in the garden for all of 10 minutes before we conceded that it was a bit on the bloody freezing side to stay any longer. Usually, nourishment would consist of pizza, the chippy, or a curry, but Ali was very grown up and had already sorted cold meats, chicken and French bread, plus some delicious little chicken tikka pasties. So calorie-wise, it wasn’t too sinful.


Sunday I was predictably crap, and I reckon I caught up on a few calories by eating virtually nothing all day. Great to watch Liverpool not succumbing to an end-of-season malaise, by (eventually) spanking Fulham, and it also meant we didn’t have to endure the Fergie hysteria going on on the other side. Today, Sharon and I have just had a chippy lunch (oops) and we’re meeting the boys from the train and probably going to Ma Eg’s for some shandy and a debrief on their ‘crazy’ weekend (read: normal weekend, just in different pubs). I write the questions for Ma Eg’s “Monday Night Quiz with Margi Clarke”, too, so it might be an idea to hang about and see if I’m being too tough on the punters…

Tomorrow, it’s off to Amsterdam to stay with my cousin, Marianne. We’re going to the UEFA Cup Final on Wednesday – booked when we thought it might be Ajax v Liverpool….er…. – but I only have 100 Euros for three days, so I have to ration the frivolity. COME ON BENFICA!!!

Things I’m Dreading This Week

1. Losing my temper with Cockneys

Marianne already knows where to go to avoid the Cockney invasion in Amsterdam this week, but it’s inevitable we’re going to run into them eventually. I know I won’t be able to keep my gob shut and there will come a stage when I may have to point out a few statistics, but as long as I can get to kick off without straying into the Cockney Quarter, and Benfica do the business during the match, then the day might pass without incident.

This Week I Have Mostly Been Watching…

1. Arne Dahl

A-Group - kicking ass.

A-Group – kicking ass.

I don’t have a Scandinavian drama obsession, honestly I don’t. It just so happens that the stuff catching my eye recently happens to be of Nordic extraction. You can catch this one on BBC Four at the moment. “Arne Dahl” is the pseudonym of a Swedish crime author, whose novels centre around a crack police unit called ‘A-Group’. Each book has been turned into a 2 x 90 min drama, and they’re deffo worth a look (I haven’t read the books). What I like about non-UK/US drama is that they’re not obsessed with having beautiful casts, and because the characters look real, it’s easier to believe in the story. No detectives running about in high heels in Stockholm! The first story – “The Blinded Man” was compulsive viewing, so I was quickly onto the second, “Bad Blood”. I’ve never had a problem watching subtitled drama, although “Bad Blood” was a bit weird as half of it was in English, half in Swedish, and with smatterings of Finnish thrown in. I’m a polyglot, now. Can’t wait for the others.

2. Boardwalk Empire



I’m getting there, now. Gillian’s just murdered the lookylikey of her dead son so that can’t end well. Kelly MacDonald’s accent is still getting on my nerves but only a few more episodes in which to endure it.

3. Fulham v Liverpool

More, more, more

More, more, more

Nice to see Sturridge get a hat trick and maybe up his confidence a bit. He still has a few problems realising there are 10 other people in the team, but hopefully over the close season he’ll integrate more with the team and come out in August a more sharing team player. Very excited about what he could do for us next season. I just need to ‘like’ him more. One thing I really want to mention, though….the smoke bomb arseholes. It’s not big, it’s not clever, it’s not ‘a laugh’. After everything this club has been through, all you twats are doing is getting our cards marked with every away ground steward. Smoke bombs…I mean, why? Seriously, why? You let off a red smoke bomb behind your own goal, so Pepe, Andre, Jamie et al can’t see a bloody thing when they’re trying to defend a set piece. The banger you just threw, burned a bloke’s coat and singed the backs of people heads. A child was so frightened he needed oxygen administering, and a couple of hundred other fans couldn’t see a thing for about five minutes while the smoke cleared. I fail to see why it’s cool or clever or even remotely entertaining to release bangers and smoke bombs at a football match. If you’re so desperate to be Italian, go and bugger off there. You’re idiots who are doing no favours for our club. There’s just no logic behind it. I seriously want to know what the rationale is? It’s one giant pissing contest – “ha ha, did you see that smoke bomb on the telly? That was me, I did that, I’m so cool…” No you’re not, you’re a twat. Ask Pepe if he thinks you’re cool, next time he can’t see in front of him when a corner’s coming in.

The Stats Bit:

Month 1:   8.75lbs

Month 2:   5.25lbs

Month 3:   1lb

Month 4: 0.5lbs

Month 5: 3lbs

Month 6: 1.5lbs

Month 7: 0lbs

Month 8: 0lbs

Week 33 – 2lbs

Week 34-35 – plus 2lbs

Week 36 – 2lbs

Total after 252 days: 22lbs


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s